I am now in my mid 30’s and got a job in Singapore in a big bank. I was happy with my job, but was bored of routing things. My weekday schedule was get up early, go for a job, get fresh, go to office, eat in canteen, come back home in night, bring food on the way home, eat along with a glass of wine and then sleep. On weekends, it was slightly different, I used to go out with friends to play some sports to keep myself fit. My life was becoming too mechanical. So I decided to do something different. My friend was starting a new It company and wanted me to help him set it up. He was focusing on getting IT business from Singapore and work would be delivered from Bangalore. He requested me to help him with delivery. As it was COVID and I was working from home, I accepted his offer. We hired a delivery manager from Bangalore and she was responsible to hire additional junior technical developers. We used to meet daily over phone and talk about different strategies. I used to talk to her in morning, evening basically at any time of the day based on her and mine availability. She was very smart, talented and hard working. I was very impressed by her skills and commitment. She used to work as if she is working for herself. I started having a soft corner for her. We all know face to face interactions are always good for business relationship and to build trust, so we started having video conference calls. The first time I saw her, I was was was don’t know what to say, surprised, shocked, mesmerized,…..in short It was love at first sight from my side. She had such a beautiful smile, big black eyes, rosy lips, a mole next to her chain, slight curly hairs and she was dressed so colorful. I was impressed seeing her, she was no less than a model. Going forward we used to see each other daily over video calls. Slowly I started loving her and I got used to her. I was becoming restless if I could not see her. I was not able to focus on my work during day time, and she was all over my eyes in night time, so I hardly slept for many nights. I always thought of telling her that I love her, but was afraid she might say no and stop working for me. One fine day I decided to tell her, so I called her for a video conference. I told her my side of the story and how much I love her. She listened patiently and with a smile she said. “Thanks but no Thanks”. I was surprised by her statement. She said she is already married and have a kid and she likes her husband a lot. I was shocked to hear that, because she never spoke to me about it in past. I asked her if she was joking but she said No. I could not take this failure again. I started becoming crazy about her, calling her every now and then without reason. But she was so gentle, caring and very clear that I don’t have a future with her. She was fine becoming my friend but nothing more than that. I felt cheated again, not by her but by God.
I am getting used to Love Failure, but it is never easy to love and being ignored. But I hope, God has planned someone better for me and he is waiting for the right time to introduce her to me.
